Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
