i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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