yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am mentally ready for anal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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