You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
