omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
