you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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