My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
