babies were throwing up all over the place
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
