I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
