I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
