I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
