Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
