No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
