the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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