she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
