I'm really into asian looking animals
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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