No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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