Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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