I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
