I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
