i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
