Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The beer is more important than you right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
