watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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