he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
