ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
