apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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