Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
