he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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