I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You don't make any sense
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