i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
