Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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