Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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