ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
