If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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