What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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