and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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