have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
