my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
