oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
