he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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