So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
