I hate your face
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
