Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
