And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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