how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
