just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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