I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
