lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
