How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
