we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
