we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
