we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
